Click HERE to view Rev. Rogers’ guided meditation during the service.
Alright. So I’m doing this series on four very successful individuals and how they see they got to be so successful. And what I think is interesting about this is: Sometimes successful people — the way that they perceive that they got to that level of success may or may not be the actual way they got to be that successful. But all of us kind of have a story why our life works … or why our life doesn’t work.
And so I wanted to kind of slow this process down. I picked four people that I admire in one way or another. So we began with Oprah Winfrey. And the first week, we talked about intention and her belief that we can move from being an unconscious doer to being a conscious creator. And then that shift — moving from living unconsciously to living consciously — truly is the basis of a spiritual life.
When we go, and we’re just going through the motions of life, it’s kind of fun or interesting or traumatic, or whatever it is. But we’re not really conscious. We’re not aware. We’re not setting an intention for our life. And the moment we begin to set intentions for our life — for the moment, for a day — our life moves to another level. So we began there.
Last week we talked about Warren Buffett. And Warren Buffett’s underlying principle is that you have to love what you do. And if you love what you do, you’re going to be more successful. That it’s actually a requirement that you love what you do. And to really move into that level of life where you’re really, truly living the life that you love.
Today I want to talk about Steve Jobs and his seven principles. That there are seven principles that have been identified as the reason — the way he managed; the way he led; the way he ran his organization — that allowed him to be so successful.
And the first one’s going to sound very familiar: that YOU HAVE TO DO WHAT YOU LOVE. He believed that passion was everything; that innovation doesn’t happen without it, and that we have to dig deep to identify our true passion. And Steve’s was not the passion about computers; he was passionate about building tools that helped people unleash their potential. And I want you to see the difference there! That it was really about: How do we get technology in the hands of normal people?
How many of you remember your first computer? Right? [Laughs] Like, did it have cards? Did it come in a suitcase? Like, what was your first? Was it an Atari? What was your first computer, right? And now many of our watches actually have more computing power than our first computer!
And so the key is to ask yourself over and over again. Because it’s not just enough to know what he did; the real identity is: How can I use this in my own life? So the question then becomes: What makes your heart sing? And if you’re doing what makes your heart sing, you’re going to be more effective; you’re going to be happier. You’re going to live a higher quality life if you stay within the realm of what makes your heart sing.
Two. And I love this line! He said to PUT A DENT IN THE UNIVERSE. That passion fuels the rocket. That we have to have a vision that directs the rocket to its ultimate destination. And, as I said, in the 1970s, his vision with Steve Wazniak was a bold declaration that “I want to put a computer in the hands of everyday people.” And that was his mission! “I want to put a computer …” And that was his vision that allowed it to fuel his passion. Right?
So when we’re looking at our own life, what’s the vision? What’s the focus that keeps us moving? What is that thing that we feel called to do in the world? And knowing what that is — and staying about that — is how we put a dent – I love that! — put a dent in the universe! It’s how we put a dent in the universe.
Three: He believed that CREATIVITY IS ABOUT CONNECTING THE DOTS IN A WAY THAT OTHER PEOPLE WEREN’T. He believed in having a broad set of experiences that would lead people to conclusions that other people might have missed.
When he was in college, he took a class in calligraphy. Now, do you remember that class that you’ve taken that you really wondered how, if ever, you were ever going to use it? Well, calligraphy was his. It’s like, “Why am I taking a calligraphy class?” Right? But when he came to developing the Macintosh, his commitment was to fonts and scripts and imagery that was more elegant than was experienced in computers before. And he took that vision of creativity — of that elegance — and he unrolled it.
And his mindset was to bombard your mind with new experiences completely outside the focus of your life. That if you want to live a more creative life, you actually have to step outside your current experience and read something, study something, talk to people that you don’t normally talk to, so that you’re actually bombarding your mind with new ideas. Because old ideas will give you your current life experience. Is that true? Can I get an “Amen”? [Congregation: “Amen!”] If you’re going to change your life, you have to be willing to bombard your mind with new experiences.
Four: He believed that it was critical that we be able to SAY “NO” TO 1,000 THINGS SO THAT WE CAN SAY “YES” TO THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS. “Innovation comes from saying ‘No’ to 1,000 things,” he said. And when you look at Apple — what Apple’s done … When he went back to Apple and came out in 2007 with the iPhone, while other phone manufacturers were adding more whistles and bells and more buttons and levers, his vision was to strip it all away and make it as simple as possible.
And I want you to really see the mindset of this, right? That in your life, how many times … If you’re going to be “on purpose” with your life, how many times do you have to be willing to say “No” so that you can say “Yes” to the most important thing? Because we live in a time where there are so many influences in front of us. And it requires a real deep commitment that — if you’re going to say “Yes” to the most important things in your life, you have to say “No” to 1,000 different things to be about the most important thing.
And, you know, we think of peer pressure. And we think about how it applies to maybe kids or teenagers or people in their 20s. But how many of you have ever had a hard time saying “No” to someone, when you knew in your heart it wasn’t for you? But we get so twitterpated about saying “No.”
So we’re going to practice. You ready? NO! [Congregation laughs]
Together: [with congregation] “No!”
I want you to turn to somebody around you and just say “No”: [with congregation] “No!”
[Repeats with congregation:] “No!” “No!” “No!”
And I want you to see that, at some level, it makes us giggle, right? Because, at some level, we feel naughty for saying “No.” Like, “I can’t really say that!” Like, we get institutionalized past about the age of two, and we feel a little guilty for saying “No.”
And what I want you to see tonight is how fundamentally important it is that you feel powerful in your “No.” Because if you don’t have a “No,” your “Yes” is meaningless.
If your “No” doesn’t mean anything, your “Yes” doesn’t mean anything. It’s only when you feel empowered enough to say “No.”
How many of you have a person in your life that it’s really hard for you to say “No” to? I want to be that person for you. [Laughs along with congregation] No, I really don’t. [Laughs] Right? I just think it’s fun to say, right? [Congregation laughs] And I so love the fact that most of us are still learning to say “No.”
One more time: [with congregation] “No!”
Did you see how much louder it was the second time? [Speaks in really loud, deep voice]: “NO! NO! NO!” Right? And I want you to really hear … Like, once we feel like we have permission, and that it could actually be spiritual to say “No,” our voice gets deeper; we come out louder; we come out stronger.
One more time: [loudly with the congregation] “NOOOO!”
Like, that’s so much more fun than [meekly], “Well, okay.” [Congregation laughs] “I guess I could.”
How many of you can think of a time in the last week when you said to the matter of fact, “Well, I guess I could … if you really need me to.” Like, “Alright; twist my arm.” Like, is that a strong “Yes”? NOOOO! I want you to practice that: NO!
Five. [Congregant: “NOOOO!”] Thank you.
Number five: He believed we must CREATE “INSANELY GREAT” EXPERIENCES. When they started the Apple store, he didn’t model it after other computer stores. He modeled it after Ritz Carlton. He wanted a level of customer service that was unequaled. He wanted people to be able to go into the store and not be inundated with computer stuff. And if you walk into an Apple store even now, they’re there, but it’s elegant. It’s elegant; it’s fabulous! Right? So he wanted people to have a great experience.
And one of the things we know about the research shows that, when we invest in experiences and not in “stuff,” we are happier. Because stuff wears out; it changes. But experiences you have forever!
Six: He believed in MASTERING THE STORY. He was a master storyteller. He worked at his presentations. He would practice them hour after hour so that he was a master storyteller. Because he believed in the power of the story.
So that, wherever you are, to really look at the stories you tell yourself: to change the story; to tell a new story. Do you know that most truly profound spiritual teachers stop telling stories about themselves. Because they realized that they are not their past. And they no longer identify with their past. So they stop telling stories about their past, because they’re in the moment.
How many of you know that you have a favorite story that you like to tell about yourself or your family? And that’s our story! We think, “Well, this is my story; this is how I got here. This is important!” And it’s like: Is it really? Like, how many times have you told that? Is it actually accurate? [Congregation laughs] Is it a better story now than it was 30 years ago? Right? And it’s like, “Yes!” Right?
And seven is: He believed you should SELL DREAMS, NOT PRODUCTS. Right? And this was his foundation: That people didn’t come for a product; they came for a solution. They came for an answer. They came for a better life.
And I want you to see that all seven of these principles were truly how he lived his life. And then something profound happened. He got to the point where he realized he was going to die. And at the point of his death, he had a little bit of an awakening. He had a transformation, if you will. And I want to read a letter that he wrote from his hospital bed:
“I have reached the pinnacle of business success. In other people’s eyes, my life has been a success. However, aside from my work, I’ve had little joy. At the end of the day, wealth is just a fact I’ve gotten used to. Right now, lying on my hospital bed, reminiscing all my life, I realize that all the recognition and wealth I took so much pride in has faded and become meaningless in the face of imminent death.
You can hire someone to drive your car or make moey for you, but you can’t hire someone to stand and be sick and die for you.
Material things lost can be found, but there is one thing that can never be found when it’s lost. It’s life. Whatever stage of life we are currently at, in time we will face the day the curtain closes.
Love your family, your spouse, your children, your friends. Treat them right. Cherish them.
As we get older and wiser, we slowly realize that wearing a $300 or a $30 watch both give you the same time. Whether you drive a $150,000 car or a $30,000 car, the road and the distance are the same, and we reach the same destination. whether we drink a $1,000 or a $10 bottle of wine, the hangover is the same.”
[Congregation laughs] Truth! Right? Two Buck Chuck, right?
“Whether the house you live in is 100 square feet or 1,000 square feet, loneliness is the same.
You realize that your true inner happiness does not come from the material thins of the world. Whether you travel in first class or economy class, if the plane crashes, you all go down with it.
Therefore, I hope you realize that, when you have friends, brothers and sisters, with whom you discuss, laugh, talk, sing, talk about north-south-east or heaven and earth … that is the real happiness!
An indisputable fact of life: Don’t raise your children to be rich. Educate them to be happy. When they grow up, they will know the value of things and not the price of them.”
You know, there’s these moments in life when we realize that the profound happiness that we seek is not attached to the things of this world.
There was a time in my life where I was traveling the country speaking at churches, mainly. I had spoken the Sunday before at Unity of Houston. And a man called me the next week and he said, “My psychiatrist suggested that I call you.” [Congregation laughs] I’d never heard that before! I’d never had a man call me and say, “My psychiatrist suggested that I call you”! She was in the audience when I spoke that Sunday at Unity of Houston.
And he said, “My marriage is about to end. My kids don’t often talk to me. I am wildly successful, but I’m thinking about retirement. And it scares the hell out of me, and I’m not sure what to do.” He said, “I realize that I have a skill set that hasn’t translated well into my personal life, and I’m not sure what to do.”
And I realized at that moment — because I had begun coaching people about that same time — and I realized at that moment that there were a group of highly successful mainly men whose skill set wasn’t translating; wasn’t working well for their personal life. That they were very successful, but they weren’t very happy.
And in my own life, I had just gone through my own change. Most of you know that there was a period of life that, within 90 days, where I was divorced; my dad died; I left this church. And I had gone through four of the five major griefs — the big ones: death of a loved one; divorce; moving; and loss of a job. The only thing I was missing was a serious life-threatening illness.
And I realized at that moment that there was this large group of people — very successful people — that weren’t happy. And I realized that I was in that group. And I made a commitment to myself that I was going to make a difference and I was going to make a change. And I was going to do whatever it took for me to learn how to be happy.
And I began to work with some of these corporate gladiators. And they live for the battle; they love the battle! They were involved in corporate takeovers and lawsuits and government investigations. And they had all the trappings of success. They had the private planes and the suits and the cars and the wives (and the girlfriends) and everything they thought they needed to have to be happy. But they weren’t happy!
And as I began to work with them, I realized that they had attained so much, but emotionally they weren’t happy.
See, in Unity and in spiritual circles, we talk about spiritual growth. We talk about mental growth and how to get smarter. And we talk about physical growth and how to get in shape and get healthy. And yet, I realized that the key to happiness is at the emotional level: to learn how to feel our feelings; to trust our feelings; to identify our feelings; how to share our feelings; how to get comfortable in our feelings. How to go deeper into our feelings. And I realized that, for us to truly be profoundly happy, it’s not about more. It’s really about learning to be with ourselves in a way that we can actually feel our own feelings.
As I began to work with these men, they would begin to trust me, even though they were learning to be “softer.” They were learning to feel. Sometimes these guys were so committed to being strong and in control that it would take them a long time just to know what they were feeling.
And the more we would work, it would actually help them that they could identify their feeling; that they could feel their feeling; that they could talk about their feeling. And it would actually lead to a transformation in their life! And they were able to put the relationships back together and make new ones. And it was transformative!
And here’s the two things that I want you to hear me say tonight. Of all the things I’ve said tonight … and gosh knows, I can sure talk. [Congregation laughs] Two things. Two questions that I want you to entertain tonight: What am I feeling? And what do I want?
Now, you think those are pretty simple questions, right? But they really are just these natural internal gyroscopes that take us back to ourselves. And in the beginning, when we answer, “What am I feeling?” Sometimes the response is, “I’m not sure.” Or we have a feeling and then we realize that was kind of a superficial feeling, and there were levels of feeling underneath that feeling that would really take us to someplace profoundly deeper.
And then when we ask ourselves what we want, it’s like, “Well, I want this.” And it’s like: Well, do you really want that? And if you had that, would you be any happier if you had that? And you realize: No! What I want — really, really, truly want — is to be happy. What I truly want is to know that I’m loved. What I truly want is to know that I’m important to people.
Like, as we go deeper into ourselves, it begins to get so much easier to create a life that makes sense.
So are you ready for your homework?
I want you to ask yourselves at least 100 times a day … Seriously! At least 100 times a day — that’s four times an hour. And if you sleep, it’s eight times an hour! [Congregation laughs] Plus or minus, right? I want you to ask yourself over and over again for one solid week: What am I feeling? And what do I want?
And I want you to see: Can you name your feeling? And is there a feeling underneath that feeling? And is there a feeling underneath that feeling? Because the superficial feelings are handy, but what I want you to see is that, for most of us, there’s levels of feelings so much deeper than that. And the more we ask ourselves the question, “What am I feeling and what do I want?” we actually get to a deeper level of truth within ourselves.
So you ready? What am I feeling? And what do I want? And to allow those questions; to sit with those questions; to dwell on those questions; to be willing to be in the question of “What am I feeling? And what do I want?”
Because I believe that people who are the happiest can actually answer those questions. They can actually talk about it. They can actually share with another. They’re actually okay if somebody else has a feeling, and they can actually talk about it. There’s something that happens when we stop running from our feelings that makes us more human. It makes us easier to be with. It makes us more lovable.
Today, what are you feeling? What are you really feeling? And what do you really want? And I want you to see what a deep place that takes you to in your own soul. That many of us have been running from those two questions most of our lives. And when we stop running from those questions, and we actually dive into them, it changes everything.
Will you pray with me?
And I invite you to open your mind, your heart, your soul to the activity of God. Today, your soul is the most important thing. And listening — truly diving deep and listening to what’s going on within you — is the most important thing. And as you know what you’re feeling, as you know what you want, as you can talk about it and share and express it easily, your life is better. Literally in every way!
So Holy Spirit, help us feel tonight. Help us feel, not only the superficial feelings, but help us feel the deeper feelings. And help us feel the deeper desires. And help us know the truth and allow the truth to set us free. In the name and through the power of the Living Christ, we give thanks. And so it is. Amen.