Click HERE to view Rev. Stacy Macris Ros’ guided meditation during the service.
So, we are in Week #3 of our five-week series on Gerald Jampolsky’s book, “Love is Letting go of Fear,” which is inspired by “A Course in Miracles.”
You know, Jampolsky’s goal for himself — and for all of us — in writing this book was about helping us find inner peace and feel a deeper sense of oneness with God by removing the blocks to our awareness and experience of the presence and power of love.
You know, “A Course in Miracles” says that love is the only reality; that there are only two emotions, and that is love and fear. And this book reminds us that everything we experience is filtered through our perceptions. And it is our mindset and our perceptions — they are rooted in either love or in fear. And it supports 1 John Chapter 4 that says, “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear.”
Every single one of us — whether we realize it or not — are on a sacred path of transformation. And it is something we don’t move through by struggling; we move through it by surrendering: surrendering and letting go and giving way to a higher vision; to a higher truth of love, of peace, of joy, which is our spiritual nature.
In Week #1, we looked at the preparation needed to do for the transformation. And there were five things to do. And the number one was to be aware that we are our beliefs. That our lives are a reflection of our belief systems. And so, we need to be aware of the negative thoughts and the limited mindsets that we hold, because it always reflects back to us. And they need to be transformed.
The second is to identify the blocks to peace and love in our lives which are: fear, control, judging, attacking or being defensive, and holding on to the past.
The third way to prepare is to make sure we set inner peace as our goal. To always turn within and to connect within and to connect with Spirit, because peace is really a precondition to healing and a precondition to transformation.
And the fourth is practice letting go in all of its forms: forgiveness, acceptance, surrender. You know, forgiveness is really a willingness to let go of how we currently see the world, ourselves and others so we could move forward and progress on our path.
And then, finally, extending love to those people we love; those people we know; and also to those who may act up every now and then and express themselves with anger or negativity … and seeing that expression of anger as really a call for love. You know, a call for something deeper. And then we are able, in understanding that, we’re able to express more compassion and understanding to support them; to help them reconnect with peace and love.
Last week we looked at the first three of the 12 lessons we’re going to move through in this series. The first was, “All I Give, I Give to Myself.” “Forgiveness is the Key to Happiness.” And, “I am Never Upset for the Reason I Think.”
And so, if you missed any of these, you can just check them out online. You can just click on and follow and listen to those.
Today, we are going to look at three more lessons. The first one is: “I AM DETERMINED TO SEE THINGS DIFFERENTLY.”
How many people have at least one error in your life that you would like to change, improve, make better, and have more happiness and success in? Okay. And the thing is that: our lives — as I already said — are a reflection of our thoughts. It is our belief systems that really attract the experiences, our achievements, our level of success and happiness … that tracks the quality of our relationships and how we see ourselves. A belief system can uplift us, help us attract good and positivity, and have levels of happiness and fulfillment. But our perceptions and belief system can also limit us. They could also hold us back and keep us stuck in a negative mindset and lack and limitation or feelings of unworthiness.
You know, it is our mindset that can sometimes see and label things as bad or hopeless; that things will never work. And our minds tend to stay focused in those mindsets on things that aren’t working; things we don’t like; things we don’t want; and for people who we don’t like. And when we hold those things in our minds, we tend to attract more things we don’t like; more things we don’t want; and more things that aren’t working.
You know, this lesson – “I am determined to see things differently” — is really saying that, if I want to change my life, I have to change my mindset and my thoughts. That, if I have a desire to have something greater and better and experience that, then I need to see things differently.
You know, all transformation of all kinds requires a willingness to let go and to release our old mindset and limiting beliefs. To release it in a way that we can replace those pains of the past and the stories of shame and blame — to replace them with stories of joy, stories of overcoming, stories of learning, stories of growing.
You know, in cognitive behavioral therapy, there’s a technique called “Catch It; Check It; and Change It.” And what it is: is you catch yourself in a situation where you are feeling resentful or angry or upset or negative in some way. And then you check it and say, “Is this helpful to me? Is this moving me towards the good want?” The answer is usually no. [Congregants laugh] And then the third one is to change it: to ask ourselves, “How can I see this situation — that’s irritating me and not working for me — how can I see it differently or positively? To see a healthier and more helpful perspective?”
Let’s do an example. How many people have ever been stuck in traffic and you were feeling annoyed, frustrated, impatient? And you even sometimes just pounded on the steering wheel because you’re so upset? “It’s not working!” Anybody ever get stuck in traffic like that? And so, you catch yourself, noticing that you’re agitated; you’re really upset about it.
And then you check in and ask yourself Dr. Phil’s famous question, “So how’s that working for you?” [Congregants laugh] “Is my frustration and impatience moving the traffic faster? Is it helping me get to where I want to go safely and peacefully?” And the answer is no.
And so, then we need to say it’s time to change it. So everyone, take a deep breath. And we would take a deep breath; we’d open our minds; and we’d say, “I am determined to see this differently.”
Together: [with congregants] “I am determined to see this differently.”
And then just open your minds to say, “You know, maybe this is the way it is to teach me how to be more mindful. To teach me how to accept that sometimes traffic happens. Maybe this is to teach me to slow down. Maybe this is to teach me to pray or to listen in that time to a positive podcast. You know, maybe it is — we’re in that traffic — because it is protecting us from something up ahead.” There are all kinds of other perspectives that are so much more positive, of seeing things differently instead of staying stuck in the mindset and the repetitive nature of repeating these situations.
Like, how many people, I would say, get stuck in traffic and irritated more than once? [Congregants laugh] I mean, we sometimes repeat the same pattern; when we recognize it, we could say, “Hey, I can choose to see this differently.”
And what’s amazing about it — this ability to see things differently — is really: it changes our experience. The very same traffic experience that’s agitated frustrating and irritating can actually become positive. It can actually become peaceful, and it can actually even come become productive.
In this kind of mindset, it really, really helps us. It’s a difference maker in our lives. And it helps us see the good; helps us see the possibilities; it helps us sees the lesson; it helps us see how life might be pointing us and directing us in a different path. But we need to catch it; we need to check it; and we need to change it.
Let’s say you’re having a conflict at work and your boss is really on you. And you think he hates you and he’s always complaining about you. And then you start hating your boss; you start hating your job. And you’re constantly stressed and upset about it. And then we have to ask ourselves: “Is hating my boss really helping me in my happiness and doing the work that I am here to do?” Of course, the answer is no.
And then we have to ask ourselves: “So, how can I see this differently? How can I show up and be more positive to my boss? How can I put more joy into my work for myself, even if I choose to leave? How can I bring peace to this situation? How can I not take things so personally and just do my work and do it with joy?”
You know, one of the things in these processes of changing it: it’s not just changing externally; it truly is — transformation is spiritual in nature. And we have to ask ourselves: “What in me needs to shift? What in me needs to change? What in me do I need to let go and to release?”
You know, this is a great practice for any time you get triggered and feel upset or angry or frustrated. You can say, “I am determined to see this differently.” To see it in a better light, a more positive perspective. Because then we can see a situation currently that we think is an obstacle, and we could transform it to an opportunity. We could see something that is a loss, and turn it into a lesson. We can see something that’s a hurt, and we could turn it into healing. We could see something that is conflict, and could turn it into compassion and kindness.
So, think of something that is not working in your life. Or when things get triggered and they aren’t working. Are you willing to say to yourself, “I am determined to see things differently”? That, “I am willing to change and transform and reframe my perspective on this to a greater perspective to bring more peace, more joy, and more light”?
And it requires a desire because it says, “I am determined.” And it’s, “I’m determined to see things differently” … but it’s even more than that. It’s: “I am determined to do the work needed within me to transform and change that.”
And the other part is to see things differently — to see engages our creative mind, our imagination, our vision. To take what’s going on now and to see it in a greater light. The power of vision and our imagination and our ability to see beyond the current moment actually creates energy moving towards something greater.
“I am determined to see things differently.”
Together: [with congregants] “I am determined to see things differently.”
And the second lesson is: I CAN ESCAPE FROM THE WORLD I SEE BY GIVING UP ATTACK THOUGHTS. I can escape from the world I see. And what’s the world we see? Including our personal world — which sometimes we create and see a world of conflict; a world of suffering and struggle and pain and disharmony and tension. And those are the things we experience sometimes in our lives.
And how can we escape that — is by giving up “attack thoughts.” Attack thoughts are thoughts like anger or hate, or anything hurtful we think — or negative that we think — about others, or say about others or do towards others. Criticizing, controlling, jealousy, wishing someone ill or harm in any way. We put out a lot of negative attack thoughts out there. Even if we don’t say anything, sometimes we’re projecting that kind of energy out there.
Here’s what Jampolsky said. He says, “I recognize today that my attack thoughts about others are really directed at myself. When I believe that attacking others brings me something I want, let me remember that I always attack myself first. And I do not wish to hurt myself today again.”
So, if we want to end some of our own pain — our own suffering — we need to give up attack thoughts that absolutely hurt ourselves. You know the thing about attack thoughts? You know the thing that it really does? It closes our heart. To wish someone ill — you know, wish they fail at this, or wish some kind of anger — it just shuts off our heart. It builds walls; it creates negativity that affects us and affects everyone in our lives.
You know, at Wednesday service I mentioned a study and experiment that was done where they had couples. And they had to not criticize or complain about each other for 30 days. [Congregants laugh] And what was amazing was: as they stopped complaining and criticizing, the level of love increased automatically. The level of peace and harmony; the level of closeness and trust and connection — all increased by giving up. It raised up the level of love and the level of peace. It’s a powerful thing just to give that up. It helps us escape all kinds of pain that we sometimes keep ourselves imprisoned in.
Gerald Jampolsky had some issues with his phone company. He was having all kinds of issues with his phone and the billing they were charging him. And he just had this anger against his phone company. And the interesting thing is: his business — which is the Center for Attitudinal Healing that works with children who have trauma — they started increasing their business and they were making phone calls.
And so, this is back in, like, the early ‘80s. And so, the bills were really high. And so, he wanted to try and get a discount on the phone. But he hated the phone company. And he had enough awareness of realizing that he’s holding anger towards the phone company and he needs to do some healing.
I just want to say for a second – it sounds silly; he’s angry at the phone company. How many people ever been angry, like, at the IRS or the government or some organization? [Congregants laugh] Anybody ever have, like, a story? You said, “I’ll never shop there again!”
We hold these attack thoughts to even organizations. We think we only do it to people, but we put out — and it’s putting out into the universe. It’s putting it out there.
So anyway, he recognizes this. He spends two weeks working on forgiveness; working of letting go of those thoughts and, instead, sending love; sending peace; sending blessings. And so, finally he calls. And it took a while to get the president. But he but he made his peace. And then the guy was so nice and so generous. And, within a few weeks, they got a check for $3,000. And he credits this practice of giving up attack thoughts — and sending love and clearing his heart first before this dealing — of why it was so successful.
And what he’s trying to say is: it’s really powerful when we send out attack thoughts. And it hurts us all: ourselves, others; and our world, more than we realize. Whether it’s to a person; whether it’s to a company, we need to be aware of the thoughts — the negative thoughts — that we send out there.
A woman was constantly criticized by her coworker. And instead of retaliating, she prayed for this person daily, sending out blessings saying, “I bless you with peace; I bless you with love; I bless you with joy.” And within a few weeks, the coworker’s attitude shifted. What was more important: she felt peace. Even before the co-worker shifted, she felt peace. And that peace eventually brought connection and harmony between her and her friend.
There is cause and effect. And the negativity we put out there has negative effects So we can switch to putting out positive causes so there can be positive effects.
And my question for you: who in your life are you sending out attack thoughts? Who in your life is your heart closed to? And you wish them negativity? Or you feel anger or blame or upset towards them?
And the question is: Are you willing to give up the attack thoughts towards them and send them blessings?
I want you to think of that person right now or whoever it might be. Take a deep breath and repeat after me:
“I bless you with peace.”
[Congregants:] “I bless you with peace.”
Take a deep breath. “I bless you with love.”
[Congregants:} “I bless you with love.”
Take a deep breath. “I bless you with joy.”
[Congregants:] “I bless you with joy.”
Take a deep breath.
You know, as we practice that on our regular basis, we will experience a greater level of peace. But it also opens the door to healing. It opens the door to reconciliation. It opens the door to deepening our connection. And it opens our door to a greater experience of God and love. You see, when we give up attacking thoughts, we raise up the amount of peace and love in our lives.
“I can escape from the world I see by giving up attack thoughts.”
Together: [with congregants] “I can escape from the world I see by giving up attack thoughts.”
And the final lesson for today is: I AM NOT A VICTIM OF THE WORLD I SEE.
So, you ever had a time in your life where nothing was going right? There was just one problem after another; you were just struggling? You were feeling almost overwhelmed? And anybody ever had a time where you just felt down and deflated? And you felt a little powerless, a little hopeless? Anybody ever have a feeling like that?
And I think we’ve all had times like that. And we might say, “Hey, I am a victim,” but we sometimes feel like life’s doing it to us. “Come on, God, give me a break!” We have those kind of moments, where we feel like that!
And the thing about it is: this is a lesson about reclaiming your spiritual power and authority. Because sometimes we give it up. You know, you’re not a spectator; you’re not a victim; you’re not at the mercy of life. But you are a player, a participant, and a powerful co-creator with God in the game of life.
Scripture says over and over all the affirmative, amazing things about how great we are. You are created in the image and likeness of God, which means you’re not a victim. You are the temple of the living God, which means you’re not a victim. You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you; you’re not a victim. You can do the things that Jesus has done and even greater things than these; you’re not a victim. You are the light of the world; you are not a victim.
Repeat after me: “I am not a victim.”
[Congregants:] “I am not a victim.”
“I am a co-creator with God.”
[Congregants:} “I am a co-creator with God.”
“I am a powerful spiritual being.”
[Congregants]: “I am a powerful spiritual being.
You know, I think the greatest thing that holds us back spiritually, and from living and experiencing the fullness of love and life and abundance is that we don’t believe in the truth of who we are. We don’t believe that we are God’s beloved children, whole, complete, lacking in nothing. We don’t believe in our spiritual magnificence — our spiritual greatness. And I think that holds us back more than anything else.
We are closer to believing that we aren’t good enough; closer to believing in our own practice and the way we’ve been conditioned to think that we are victims; that we are powerless; that we’re hopeless; that we are not enough. And that is just not the truth! It is the biggest thing we have to do: work on spiritually to overcome and reconnect with the truth of who we are.
We can believe that God is all-powerful; we can believe Jesus is all that. And we struggle believing that truth for ourselves.
Not getting a job does not mean you’re a victim. Your inner guidance is always guiding you to the highest, best. Redirected, but not rejected. You are not a victim. You know, you are a powerful spiritual being.
And you know what the other thing about that is? It means you are fully responsible for your life. Fully responsible for your mindset. Fully responsible for your choices and your decisions.
The question we all need to ask ourselves is: Do you fully accept your spiritual power? And do you fully accept full responsibility for all aspects of your life? For your mindset, your belief system and your transformation?
Life is hard. It is painful sometimes. There are trials and tribulations; there are mistakes, you know. That we fall; we have all kinds of difficulties. But we’re never a victim. Never a victim. We always have choice. We’re always a powerful and amazing spiritual being. We just need to remind ourselves of it. You know, we don’t need to wish for this. You know, we just need to accept it. We need to own it. We need to use it.
A husband and wife, both 60 years old, had a wonderful relationship. And they were together for four decades. They were walking along the beach one day and they found a magic lamp. And they rubbed it and the genie came out. And she said, “You are such a wonderful couple! You’ve been married for so long, and you’re so sweet together. I’m going to grant each of you a wish.”
And the wife says, “Well, besides the joy, I really would love to travel. I’d love to travel to Thailand.” And poof! She had two tickets in her hand to Thailand and a five-star hotel with a voucher for two of them.
And then the husband said, “Well, wow; this is a once-in-a-lifetime kind of deal. I’m sorry, darling, but I wish I had a wife that was 30 years younger than me.”
And the genie said, “Are you sure?”
And the guy said, “Yes!” And poof! He turned 90. [Congregants laugh]
You don’t have to wish for it. [Congregants laugh] You’ve got to work for it!
Repeat after me: “I am determined to see things differently.”
[Congregants:] “I am determined to see things differently.”
“I can escape the world I see by giving up attack thoughts.”
[Congregants:] “I can escape the world by giving up attack thoughts.”
“I am not a victim of the world I see.”
[Congregants:} “I am not a victim of the world I see.”
The path of transformation we are on is to remove the blocks to our awareness and our experience of the presence and power of love. To help us realize love is the only reality. Love is the reason that we are here. And love is letting go of fear.
God bless you all!